'I wish I were happier!' 'What can I do to make myself happy?' 'I feel the happiest I've been in ages!'
...and yes, I hear you, the person speaking aloud while reading this! You're right to ask, "What's wrong with that?!" There's nothing wrong with that at all. It's ok to want to be happier. In fact sometimes, the honesty that lives in acknowledging the presence or lack of personal happiness tends to be what's missing from our lives - and those of the people in this world.
Yesterday I chose to flip the script and ensure that someone else's happiness was met before my own. Day 3 on my pursuit to 100 Days of Happiness.
As I stood outside Oxford Circus station, I was approached by a 5 ft 2ish man on a mission, determined to catch the attention of a bunch of unwilling London professionals and failing miserably. Tired and unforgiving was an understatement. He walked past me, and it wasn't until he reached the fifth or sixth person in the crowd that I'd finally got it. I wouldn't even say I was over come with guilt, it was more the fact that I'd realised I had something that he needed, and I needed to give it up.
Those of you who know my Nan (stay with me on this, I've got a point coming, I promise!) Comfort ( yes, that is really her name!) will know just how hilariously outspoken she is. She has an opinion and an anecdote for just about any and everything, and at that moment in time, all I could remember was some advice she gave me in Brixton market some 7/8 years ago; "If someone vulnerable asks you for money, ask them what they need it for, and if you can, buy it for them instead."
So that's what I did. I was on the move, through the crowd, with nothing but the numerous shaking heads of disapproval and the grunts of uninterested people leading me to where the determined man had reached.
"Excuse me. You want food right?" I asked unashamedly.
"Yes, I want money to buy food."
"Ok. How about I come with you and pay for it for you?"
He nodded, confused by my proposition, but following me nonetheless.
So off we went. Marching up the road, with me turning round every so often to ensure my new friend was following closely behind me, all the way until we reached our 5* Michelin restaurant of choice - McDonalds.
We settled on a box of 20 nuggets 'to share', with the irony being that I wasn't allowed to 'share' any of them, haha! Bless Loré - I found out his name and his nationality after a super long conversation in French, yes French! I always knew those GCSE lessons would come in handy at some point. He told me of his dislike for the home he was living in back in Nice, and how turbulent his family life had been. It was a sad account and recollection of his past, but was quickly softened by the sound of laughter (his, not mine) that followed when I told him how I old I was. He insisted that I looked 'douze ans'. Thanks Lorè. Thanks.
He kept thanking me, and I kept apologising, a somewhat contradictory exchange of words, but one which I'm very thankful to have had with this guy. I was grateful for the chance to amend what I perceived to have been an error. He tucked in and I set off to continue my evening.
Happiness to me: An emotion experienced personally or shared with others, illustrating satisfaction, contentment, joy and compassion. That's what I was able to share with this guy.
Au Revoir Loré,
Karen xo
